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FULL TRANSCRIPT
Tether Together Ep 1: When We Tether Together…
Laura (L): Welcome to Tether Together, a podcast about friendship, care, and connection from Laura Interlandi and Erica Livingston of Birdsong Brooklyn. We're so glad you're here.
L: Hi.
Erica (E): Hi.
L: Coming to you live from the bed!
E: That's right It's a cozy place to record a podcast.
L: Yeah.
E: Welcome to Tether Together this is Erica...
L: ...and this is Laura.
E: And we are excited to tell you, I mean if you're here you already know but we--
L: --it would be weird if you didn't.
E: If you’re just hearing this--
L: --it's not in your mind.
E: Be careful because someone has messed with your audio equipment in your home or your phone but we have a podcast!
L: Hiiiiiiiiiii.
E: And this is it! This is our first episode, so this is just a low key intro episode.
L: Low key.
E: Yep.
L: I’m sure we’re not going to expound on anything, or activate any portals, or go deep, or go hard--
E: No, this is surface--
L: Or be too much. It’s surface.
E: We’re never too much.
L: That is an idea. That is a concept. I think when people think of us, they really think “surface.”
E: Yeah, never too much.
L: Never too much. Not a lot. Digestible chunks.
E: Goldilocks. Just right.
L: Yeah, just right.
E: What if it was, “Tether Together: We're Never Too Much.”
L: I think we just got a sponsorship.
E: Yeah. From who?
L: Hmm. I don’t know what is too much.
E: TBD. Yes, we’ll see. Insert commercial here. It’s kind of early for a commercial.
L: Yeah, too early for a commercial break.
E: Hey look eventually we do want to put commercials in here.
L: Yeah.
E: This one I think we're going to go with just straight up chat.
L: Yeah. Hey, how’s it going?
E: This is a hard chat. So you might be someone who knows who we are, and if so, “Hi. We miss you, probably.” If you know who we are, we probably know who you are, and we'd like to spend time with you. And if you don't know who we are--hey!
L: Hi friend!
E: It’s nice to meet you and I’m really glad you’re here. And I guess we’ll introduce ourselves and what this even is.
L: Yeah.
E: Which we’re still letting unfold and figure out ourselves.
L: Yeah, we’re just wading into the waters of our minds. And friendship.
E: Y’all. I’m gonna be really forward and honest and say, right here right now, because that's what--
L: Uh oh.
E: I’m gonna mark this.
L: Don’t ruin it, it just started!
E: I’m gonna mark--
L: --and she tanked the podcast, minute three.
E: Cancelled. What I want to do is set the intention of being really transparent and honest on this podcast, right?
L: Yeah.
E: I don’t wanna act like I'm keeping up for anybody, so I'm going to be honest in saying that this is the history of how we got to this moment. Laura's been wanting to do a podcast since God was a boy. It’s true. I mean, truly. 3 years? I mean, God’s been a boy a lot longer than that, I guess. I actually don't know him. But she's wanted us to do a podcast a long time and I have been, even though we preach “Yes, and” to the high heavens, I have been “No, but-ing” it.
L: “No, but-ing” it. You’ve been “No, but-ing” it all day long.
E: Saying “No, but this,” “No, but that” for a really long time.
L: I’ve been like “but you talk all the time.”
E: That is true.
L: You are never not talking.
E: Even though I do you have an absurdly small mouth, which we have been talking about.
L: That is it’s own episode. If you want to learn about Erica's dental history, tune in to Episode 5. Featuring an interview with an oral surgeon.
E: There’s a lot to talk about there that is not only practical magic but also very ethereal thoughts about the connection of lineage and teeth. Ok? But anyway, that's a different episode called “That’s the Story about Teeth.”
L: Hashtag surface.
E: Ok, so we’ve been wanting to do, Laura has been wanting to do a podcast for a long time.
L: Yes.
E: And that is because of the talking.
L: The talking.
E: And the sharing of our own medicine through voice.
L: Well, and with the idea of being people who grew up being too much for many spaces, you know, feeling like we're too much, having so many ideas. We were both actors and writers and performers and basically using our voices in written and spoken forms across all media for many, many years and so the easiest thing is--the flip of something like “Wow, we're too much. I have this block from not wanting to step forward into my too-muchness,” the flip of that is putting yourself in that vulnerable space and saying “Why don't I actually be too much in a space intentionally? And whoever wants to show up and hang in that space is welcome to, and let's create a container for the too-muchness and really celebrate it.” So that's my intention.
E: You know what’s something cool my mom did when I was a teenager?
L: Did she do something cool?
E: She did do something very cool. She allowed me to paint my room anyway I wanted, with like literally no restrictions. And the main home I lived in, I moved around a little bit but the main home I lived in, the last home I lived in when I lived with her, I was allowed to just put anything on my wall. And when my friends would come over they could paint on my wall and sign my wall, or do a huge mural.
L: Like signing a cast.
E: But it was in my bedroom.
L: Cool.
E: And in some ways, I don't know, the vision of that came up as you were talking about creating containers for too-muchness because--
L: I mean, otherwise it’s gonna happen at the diner.
E: Yeah.
L: You know what I mean? It's going to spill out somewhere, the word vomit, right?
E: Maybe people who do graffiti didn’t have moms that let them paint on their walls. I really appreciate graffiti though, I’m not knocking it. I love it very much. I live in Bushwick, Brooklyn and Bushwick is known for the graffiti, and it is a huge part of the daily medicine of the land that I live on right now, currently.
L: Well, when I was like 20-ish, which is like 5 minutes ago.
E: Totally. Like yesterday.
L: When I was 20-ish, I came home for a summer, home being Vancouver Island, and the house that my parents were living in at that time, there was not a lot of space in that house. My brother was still living at home, and my grandparents from England were out staying for a long swath of time. I think my parents had some guilt about basically being like “too bad, so sad--where are you going to sleep?” And they actually bought a small immobile trailer, like that you would pull on, behind a pickup truck for a camping trip. And they were like “you can sleep here at the side of the house.” And they let me paint that space.
E: Well they better have! They put you out back like a dog!
L: They did put me out back like a dog. But also I was like, “I can do whatever I want in here, no one even knows who's even coming up in my trailer.” That is the best, that was great, especially for a teenager--well a 20-year-old, or an actor who was homeless. And I painted it, and I thought I was being really cool and intentional with the colors and you know what it looked like? It looked like The Flintstones. It looked like...it wasn't cute.
E: I don’t remember the interior decoration of The Flintstones.
L: Have you ever seen the color peach and the color royal purple together? Don’t make a swaddle with that.
E: I mean, I haven’t seen that. I haven’t seen that in a decorating format.
L: It wasn’t cute. But there was an 8-track in there and, yeah there was some good things. But anyway, containers.
E: Sounds cozy.
L: Yeah, it was fun. It was a good summer. I didn’t have children, I did what I wanted. I just went places with my own body.
E: Yeah, autonomy. Everybody loves that.
L: Yeah. Came and went. So, this is our container for this.
E: For too-muchness, and for, I mean also like we said before--joking/not joking--for some people maybe this is like just-rightness, and we hope you find it that way. Or that our too-muchness just permissions yours.
L: Yes.
E: One thing that we've definitely done since--ok, so who are?
L: I don’t know.
E: That’s what I think we should talk about.
L: Am I supposed to answer that right now?
E: Yeah, let’s introduce ourselves. So, my name is Erica. I’m originally from Jackson, Mississippi. I live in Brooklyn. I said that already, and I am a doula and a mother and a person and…
L: TBD.
E: Trying to, yeah, I’m saying “person?” with a question for some reason. Well, mainly because I’m trying to think really quickly like “wow, what all do I want to say?” because we didn't script “oh, this is exactly how I should introduce myself.”
L: Because that’s not fun.
E: So what I am is, some things that I like: I really like this kind of connection time with Laura, I like this type of connection time with other people, I like supporting people, I like roller skating, I like to do crafts, I like to create things, I love writing, and I love my kids.
L: Mmm, they’re good.
E: And I also love being a doula, and that is what we hope this podcast is, is that it supports you the way we do the people that we serve, we serve families, and other doulas. We serve people that are on the threshold and crossing it and into it. We serve parents and families, and we have high hopes that we would make something eventually that would be that in your pocket, a bit like a doula in your pocket, and so that's who I am. Now you tell me who you are and then I guess we'll tell our origin? That would be nice.
L: Yeah. Origin story.
E: People always start with those, right?
L: I guess. Profesh.
E: Back when we were Vikings…
L: I’m Laura, and I was born in England but I grew up on Vancouver Island in Canada, and I very much identify as a British Canadian/Canadian Brit.
E: P.S. though, today at the diner she ordered eggs benedict without Canadian bacon, and she specifically said it really dramatically, “I don't want it CANADIAN bacon though.” To the point where everyone would have assumed if we all didn't know just now that she introduced herself as Canadian, everyone would have assumed that she hates Canada.
L: Like that I was anti-Canadian.
E: Because there is disdain for Canadian ham.
L: It’s so thick. It’s fat, yeah I don't want to get into that. That’s not what the podcast is about.
E: I know but it’s just a fun fact.
L: This isn’t a meat--vegans come back.
E: Yeah, come on in, vegans.
L: Alright. Subscribe. We should have done a content warning there for the old meat sources, but--
E: --sorry, maybe we'll put that in the show notes.
L: Show notes. Skip minutes 9-11. Yeah, I grew up really very much in a very free way, with parents who are not hippies at all and do not--would be very disappointed if I identified them in that way but I did grow up in a very free way. Connected to nature with a lot of freedom to connect to nature, and that lives in me for sure. And, you know, like all really ungrateful children the second I could leave Vancouver Island I did, and it was then 14 years of living in big cities. So I lived all over the world in urban scenarios and was an actor and--mostly that--before I had kids and was a doula. And I love theater and I love language, my acting training background was in Shakespeare, so as nerdy as you can get with language. I’m into it. And I love writing, I wrote for lots of years very privately with and to and for myself without sharing that in any way. But I do share my writing. I did have a blog for a while that was kind of secret and then when we started Birdsong I really put a lot of my writing energy on Instagram and in some ways that is why I'm here on this podcast and wanted to do the podcast, because for a while I've been feeling a little bit of resistance with an Instagram space because even though I've enjoyed that space and do enjoy that space as a place for connection to happen and our community--if I can say we have a community--I feel very much like we do, online specifically on Instagram, is beautiful and very real and that is the way I connected with people across my various mothering thresholds in a way that has tethered me back to me and my creative writing voice and also to others that I might never have met. And I feel like sometimes I'll do a post or I'll make some stories or I'll do like a question box, and what comes back either in the comments, or in the DM's, or in, you know, in response to questions will be so deep and so rich from other people to me that I almost feel like “how can we possibly have this conversation on Instagram?” The container isn't big enough, the the character limit isn't big enough, now the algorithm is all intense, and so people that genuinely want to engage aren't able to find your stuff and then people that don't necessarily care are just kind of scrolling through and not, we're not in a deep relationship, and so it's just been feeling lately like this kind of inequitable place and this sticky place that also I find, for the clients that I serve, the social media sphere is a triggering place and in new parenthood it can be a nourishing place, and I think that has been true--
E: Occasionally. But mostly it’s a place for comparison and looking at “why don’t I look that way?” “Why is that their journey right after having a kid?”
L: Judgment. Fear. Exclusion. We serve clients who will say things like “no one likes this post about my kid,” or “I put up this picture of myself in this vulnerable way and now I regret it,” or “I saw someone posted something and I think they're talking about me.” And it felt like this really tricky space and so I felt almost ethically, as people who like to have conversations, and like to build community, and want to go deep into certain topics, than we needed a container that was off of social media so that we could continue to give and we could continue to interact, and share, but maybe felt more intentional. Because something I've been thinking lately about the social media space, is although you might consent to follow someone, you don't necessarily consent to see everything they post and everything Instagram decides they think you should see, so you could be just like having a great day and then your feed is just full of stuff that puts you in a tough space, or vice versa, or whatever. So what I hope people feel with this podcast is that they're here because they want to be here, and if you're still listening to whatever the hell we're doing that you're having a good time, you know? And you're getting a little bit nourished and that you're feeling seen in this space. And I really do want to share abundantly and generously with the ideas that I have, but I do want to do it in a way that is non-harming.
E: Yeah, and I think that one of the things that's coming up for me right now is those of you that are, you know, here from the very beginning saying, “I'm interested in hearing what happens here,” feel free to reach out to us. Because we are open to hearing what people would like this to be and to grow this as a community. Because it really is an offering.
L: A community offering. And a conversation.
E: This is a community offering. We’re gonna have fun while we do it because that is for sure our mission behind most things.
L: A great time. We're having a party in the bed.
E: We are. We are in bed right now. It’s great. But we’re gonna have a fun time, and try to have a fun time the whole time. But also if you're listening and you're like, “well what I'd really love from this…” and it's coming up for you, you can send us an email, reach out, let us know what you're looking for because we're excited to give it to you
L: And the truth is, everything we do now in this phase of life, like post-actor, into doula life--that threshold, we for sure, we do apply the doula lens to everything that we do. So although this isn't a podcast about being a doula, or only for doulas, the way we approach talking about things is with the tools that we use as doulas. And one of the things that we use as doulas is we just like show up, and we're very present, and we listen and then respond to what the needs are in the moment. And so I think that it's very much in line with who we are and what we do, that we don't have to be like, “and here's what every episode is going to be, and it's going to be us interviewing famous people on their work, or it's only going to be birth stories, or it’s only going to be--whatever.” You know? We definitely want this to feel--it's your variety show. You know, it’s your variety show and it's a space where we get to kind of share bit about who we are and talk about stuff that we think is important and in a way that isn't getting to be spoken about maybe in as deep of a way because we're all so heavy on the socials. And Facebook, Instagram--all that stuff it can only hold so much and when that becomes your whole news cycle the conversations can only go so far.
E: Yeah, and that kind of like leads into what we wanted to talk about next, which is why is this called Tether Together and how that relates to who we are. And the irony of that even, right? Talking about wanting more connection off socials, but creating something that is something you listen to with your earbuds, or your airpods, or your whatever--your Beats by Dre--whatever thing you put on your head to listen to this. You know, maybe we're talking through people’s Sonos.
L: Wow. Are we reverberating on multiple units…
E: We’re in cars.
L: We’re in cars, wow. We don’t know. How do we know? We don’t know. We’re not controlling.
E: Who knows. Lots of places. We’re coming through some kind of a speaker or something right now which is the opposite of IRL connection, and yet we're telling you to tether together. And the concept of that has come to us through the evolution of our friendship, which is our business. Our business and our friendship are one thing.
L: The idea that business isn't personal, is not what our vibe is.
E: That’s true.
L: “It’s not personal! Don’t take this personally, Erica, but...” That’s just never a sentence we say.
E: Mmhmm. Because our business is very personal. We own a business together and we also have business that we do one-to-one when we're doing one-to-one doula work. We're also mentors and course creators and teachers and trainers, and you know, we thread our friendship through all those things I just listed.
L: Through everything we do. Even if I’m serving a client on Vancouver Island who will never meet you in person--or actually, will--
E: One day, gosh. Come on.
L: Sorry. I'm going to just retract--will for sure meet you in person one day. But isn’t meeting you or being served by you physically--
E: What if the first time I ever go to Vancouver Island I’m like, “the first thing I have to do is knock on the doors of every past client that Laura’s ever served and introduce myself? HELLO.”
L: “What has she told you about me? It’s all false. Anyway, I'm here to rub your feet.” Creepy.
E: Totally.
L: But even when I'm serving a client I quote Erica 9x on a shift.
E: That’s really nice.
L: Or I am doing something that I've learned either from her or with her. And Tether Together is, it's so many things, like one thing it for sure is--it's giving appropriate credit. So I don't just take what Erica and her amazing -isms and say them, I'm like “as Erica Livingston, wise Sage of the land of Bushwick always says... blah blah blah.” You know? And so we do really tether each other into those spaces and it is more like a web. Our business is more like a web then it is some kind of ladder or stepping stone or, you know, whatever you imagine building a business is in sort of upward, patriarchal, skyscraper-y way. Ours is, its landscape, you know?
E: Yeah. And we’ve really learned that, not because we’ve always known that deeply from within, but because when we were building things and thinking this is just a stepping stone it was not. When we thought we were stepping up ladders and that's how we were visioning, it actually was not. And when we learned that, you know, I wouldn't even say a hard way, but just like we learned what our mission was, what our ethics were, and who we were, and what we stand for because of the ways we’ve been standing and what we've been going through.
L: And what feels good as we continue to grow. What feels good to us is authentic connection.
E: Yeah, and working together and outside of competition, outside of comparing, and outside of “well if that person is doing it, I can’t. Or if I'm doing it, that person can't.” And that leads into this thing of tethering together is also an idea of “All Boats Rise.” Of tethering our boats to each other, we tether together so that when the tide comes in, if all the boats are tied together then they all just kind of rise up together as one big formation. That type of an analogy has really been something that we've been working with for a few years now and really helps us to explain, especially when we're in space with other doulas, and people in general that we're working with, that the more we support one another the better everybody is.
L: And the healthier individuals are, the healthier community is, right? That's physically, emotionally, spiritually, mentally. So you know, moving out of that scarcity model like sharing your best resource abundantly without fear...
E: That’s tethering together.
L: That’s tethering together. Passing on a referral for a client to a fellow doula, or sensing that a potential client might be a better fit for someone else and passing that forward, that’s tethering together. Supporting someone's endeavor, even if you can't go to their event or support their GoFundMe, or promote their new thing.
E: Supporting people in your neighborhood. Maybe at a different price point because you want the people in your community to thrive. There's a million ways that we could list about it, but essentially once we started to fall into that, when we started to see that when we tether together and all of the boats rise...
L: It feels good.
E: It feels right. And we also talk a lot about this thing of “The Sun Shines for Everyone,” which is that there's enough to go around. All that plays into the bigger mission of who we are as a business, is it’s easier to tether together when you can remember that the sun shines for everyone.
L: Have you ever seen that meme that's like, “Equity isn't pie?” Like everyone having equity doesn't mean you get less pie? Have you ever seen that?
E: No. But I am thinking a lot about pie now. In a good way.
L: Yeah. Well, we can make that happen later, it's New York. We can get anything, anywhere, anytime!
E: Pies and Thighs.
L: Pies and Thighs.
E: Key Lime Pie.
L: We got so lost.
E: Sorry, sorry.
L: We were talking about something really deep and then you were like, “Let’s just #SurfacePie.”
E: Well, something we now know is if we bring up pie, it’s harder for me to stay with the thread.
L: So if you get really hard and deep, and out there--you're like on Neptune with something, all I have to do is be like “pie.” And then you're like, “pie?” And then I’ll be like, “Ok, time to rap the episode.” But it's the idea that someone else having fairness doesn't mean you have unfairness. Someone else having an opportunity doesn't mean you lose an opportunity. And sharing doesn't necessarily, sharing energy--if you are connected to an abundant community--ok now I'm just going to really go hard here, ok? Did you know that trees communicate with each other through their roots? And feed each other?
E: Yeah.
L: Ok, so they do that because if one tree gets sick or gets dehydrated, or depleted, or dies, it affects the entire ecosystem. So I'm not just like “Oooo I got this water source, I'm just going to suck everyone dry by holding this water source…”
E: America.
L: #America. I am actually going to take what I need and share all of the rest and make sure that everyone in my community is nourished. And yeah, that is actually what sustainable models are, and we believe that that will translate into what our business is, for you know, perpetuity.
E: Be like a tree. That’s what we’re saying.
L: #BeLikeATree
E: Yeah, so that’s what tethering together is. And where it comes from. And also how we got to that space.
L: Yeah, I will tell a little story about the day that Erica and I met.
E: Ok. Once upon a time…
L: Should we do the chime? We should do the zaphir chime.
E: Oh yeah. I wish I had it here.
L: Next time.
E: Yeah, we’ll add it in.
L: Yeah, ok. Once upon a time, I was brand new to New York and I'd been here for like 6 seconds and got married and pregnant and I moved into my new apartment, and was like--
E: --what a portal.
L: Portal. And I had been here for almost a year, maybe almost exactly a year, and I was so lonely. If you've ever seen the movie Wall-E, where the little sad robot just goes around the earth cleaning up the garbage and really just wants a friend, and it's just like compacting trash and then stacking it, that was like what I was doing here in this space. And I, yeah, I just felt really vulnerable, and anyone who's ever moved to a new place knows that feeling--started a new school, I’m sure everyone has had that feeling in a workplace, whatever. But in New York City you can imagine that just being extra, extra, extra. And then you're pregnant and you're also like “Wow. Everything I've identified as and have done, and has given me value...no one knows that. There was no tether. New relationship, all the things. So one day I was sitting with myself, in my lonely space, really vulnerable-y writing affirmations. So cute. About the dream friend. I was like, “I have a friend--” I was writing it in that affirmation way of it has already happened. “I have a friend that I really like. I have a friend that is super creative. I have a friend that understands my path. I have a friend that I can trust. I have a friend that I laugh with. I have a friend that is super smart and cool. I feel seen by someone.” Just writing that and writing that and writing that, and I got out of my stuck space and took myself for the first time, to a prenatal yoga class. So it was that 800 inner obstacles.
E: Oh my god, this is the first time I’ve ever realized that was the first one you’d been to.
L: The first one I went to!
E: Woooooooowwwww.
L: That was the first one I went to. And I walked into this yoga class and right? You move to New York and everyone's cool and you're not, and you're Canadian, and you're like, “Hi everyone!” everywhere you go, you’re like “Hiiiii!” and no one wants to talk to you and everyone thinks you’re dumb. You know, that was the vibe I had been carrying for like a year, but I still was trying to be my shiny self and my warm self, and I went to the space--but I did feel super awkward, first day of school--and then here was this amazing person, and we were reading the same book and afterwards I lightly creeped her and lightly stalked her and made sure like, “Oh no I have to put my shoes on next to you.” And we started talking and I was signed out to go to a mom’s/expectant mom meet up later that night--and I did invite you to come with me. And so we went and then do you want to tell the rest of the story?
E: Yeah, we went to that. We ate at a big table with a bunch of other expecting people. It was kind of overwhelming, but cool. It’s really intense. I definitely felt the pain of the waitstaff there, of everybody being like, “I'll have another Seltzer!” Just feeding people. So hard.
L: No one’s drinking. Everyone’s like,” I can't have that too raw.” “Is this safe for pregnancy, person that’s never had a child?”
E: But it was nice like a big group of us. Definitely all first-time moms, I think, talking about pregnancy and what we were looking forward to and what was coming up in that moment. And then I gave you a ride home.
L: Yes, in a very old truck.
E: Yeah, that's my friend Robin's truck that she had let me borrow.
L: It was bumpy.
E: Love that truck. Yeah, I mean, look, I love an old truck.
L: I love an old truck! I mean, I am Canadian.
E: Southern roots. We love old trucks. Go ahead and put that in a kind of tag. “Loves old trucks.” And I took you home, and then we decided to sit in the car and talk for awhile, we just swapped stories about what's happening, and we laughed so hard. I definitely think we both peed.
L: We did laugh so hard.
E: Sorry Robin. But I don’t think there was pee on the seat.
L: I don’t think it came through the clothes and underwear. All of that.
E: Yeah. But there was definitely so much laughing, I think we sat in that car, or truck--
L: I think one of the hardest things we laughed about was that I could not get my seatbelt off.
E: Yeah.
L: I was very pregnant. And just couldn’t get out of the seatbelt.
E: That’s right.
L: Yeah, that was good because it was like a physical comedy routine, so yeah, we were swapping stories and making each other laugh in these other ways, but then it was like, “Ok, I guess we should probably go now…” and then it was like, I can't get out of here.
E: Yeah, you weren’t supposed to.
L: Meanwhile, I looked at my phone and my husband had sent me like 9 texts and 6 calls and was like, “Are you dead?!” You know? Yeah, we were sat parked outside for over 1 hour.
E: At least.
L: If it was a date, we would have gone to second base.
E: Yeah, totally. In the truck.
L: Yeah.
E: So, I mean, really...the rest is history. Because then it’s like we texted the next day and then, I mean, here we are seven years later and I have not really gone a day without some kind of text connection, talk, or at least just “wow, I really miss Laura, I haven't talked to her today,” because I have to be at this family event or something.
L: Let me go to the bathroom real quick and text her the real deal about what’s going down here.
E: And then what we really did in that moment was, we tethered together. We both needed friendship, we both needed someone to hold hands and cross the threshold with, and then we did. And we never untethered. And we’ve just been growing, and at that point we were growing babies, and then we started growing a business together, and then we started growing more babies.
L: And we definitely deeply, deeply needed each other in both emotional esoteric-soul-fulfilling ways, but also in very practical ways. Yeah, and that I think is an important thing to know on this idea of tethering together, is people need connection and community, and fellowship as you call it from your Southern Baptist/recovering Southern Baptist roots.
E: Sometimes it will get a little revival in here. But that’s ok.
L: It might. “Come around the snack table.” But sometimes people literally need you to physically show up and do something--the only reason that we were able to become doulas is because you could stay with my kid while I could do my first shifts with clients and I could stay with your kid while you did your first shifts with clients, and there was a literal, physical, “wow, we actually can't move forward to the next phase of our lives if we don't have somebody to help us problem-solve and actually show up.” So one of the things that's always reflected back to us, whether it's online or in person, is how lucky we are and how grateful we need to always be. And the idea of the sun shining for all and us being in this abundant space of sharing in this container that feels really good to both of us, is that we don't just want to bogart our friendship and be like, “well great, we've got this unicorn mom/bestie/biz sitch, and we're just going to hide in the corner with that.” We know that everybody needs that and there aren't a ton of people that get that in that moment, and that many people go many years in their business journey, or entrepreneurial journey, or a parenthood journey still looking for that. So if you're listening to this and hearing this story is bringing up tough feels because that would have been so nice if you’d had that, we see that, too. Because we do get that reflected to us a lot and so part of us showing up here is really to share those vulnerable, tough moments of “I didn't have a friend, and I had to work really hard to get one, and then I did and it was great, and now here we are sharing our friendship with you.” I think that is really an intention of this podcast is to share our friendship and to share the juiciest parts of it. And I think that for both of us as talkers, the juiciest parts of our friendships are when we were talking together.
E: Yeah. For sure.
L: And I think that even if you don't identify as an extrovert--
E: --and I don’t even always identify as that.
L: I don’t ever.
E: Ok. That’s cool to know.
L: I can’t not be social in social settings. But I am an introvert. If I don't get my time alone, I’m not good for…
E: Yeah, I just don’t even know if those labels, they might just be so old or something because I don’t know if they even work for people anymore.
L: Yeah, I don’t think they do. Everyone needs all the things, I think to some degree. If you don't identify as being this overtly outward person, you still need connection. You still need community. You still need fellowship.
E: And you still deserve a bestie! And you still deserve friendship and fun and laughing, and having a good time!
L: And to know you’re not alone in feeling alone sometimes is enough to get through feeling alone, until you're not alone. So anyone who ever wants to listen to this is welcome in this space. And if you're listening to this and you're like, “Wow I feel so alone at this pivotal moment,” this is us literally saying into the portal of time--
E: --tether together with us.
L: Yeah, we’re here. And we're not in your space physically with you, but we are reaching across the time-space continuum being like, “we do love you, and we do see you, and you can be our bud.”
E: We’re time traveling.
L: We’re time traveling. Time and space traveler.
E: This is friendship time traveling. What we’re trying to do.
L: That should be the tagline, what was the other one? I can’t remember. We’ll have to go back and listen.
E: I think it was “Tether Together: We’re Definitely Not Too Much.”
L: Yeah, something like that. So that’s who we are and what our deal is, and I feel like there's two ways that people are going to listen to this: when we release it, and if you listen to it when we release it you already kind of know us, so “hey,” and if you find this in a couple of years and it truly is time-travel and you want to know who those crazy gals are, that's who we are, why we're here, and what is to come is a little bit of a follow the breadcrumbs for us as well as for you.
E: We definitely want to share stuff about parenting, we definitely want to share things about doulaship, we definitely want to share things about our own personal journeys as people, women--
L: --artists, too!
E: Artists. I'm adopted, I definitely want to talk about that. We're basically making a container for the things that come up and frequently what was happening is that we were talking about that on our own and said, “this might actually be something other people would like to hear.” And so, here it is. We are so glad you're here.
L: We are so glad you’re here.
E: Thanks for tethering together with us and we’ll see you in the next episode.
L: Yeah, we do hope that the permissioning of how scary it is to either say “Can I come with you to that thing?” or “Would you like to come with me to this thing?” that might be a little less scary after listening. And if there's a moment where you feel a little abundant in your bravery, where you could reach to somebody who looks like Wall-E walking around the earth like a little lonely robot…
E: You didn't look like Wall-E, I just want to say.
L: Ok.
E: That Wall-E thing is a good analogy, but definitely I wasn’t like “Look at that pregnant woman over there that looks like Wall-E!”
L: Erica’s telling us she was like “She’s so cool, and she’s so nice!”
E: Yeah, you were nice and outgoing and wearing that tie-dyed thing you wore so much at the end of your pregnancy. You were so sweet and fun, you definitely were not like, “Look at that robot packing trash.”
L: “Packing the emotional trash of earth.” But it is funny too, right? Because what you see on the outside with people, whether you see “Oh my god, that's the most confident person I've ever seen!” or “Oh my god, look at them--they only ever have these amazing moments on social media!” or the opposite where you feel like I am the little, lonely robot packing trash, it’s always a much deeper story. People are noticing your magic. If you don't think they are, people are. And if you think you're only seeing the shiny version of someone's life, there's always a moment where they feel like they're just packing trash. I think that ripping the veil back on that is always helpful. Whether that's about business, whether that's about how people got to where they are, the stories are always being shared after the fact instead of in real time. I think that when we're in real time, we need to know that other people were in real time and they faced those things. And that us not knowing what to do with the next moment--that is the human experience.
E: Totally.
L: So, we don't know. Episode Two. Tune in. What’s it gonna be?
E: Come on in to find out. We’re supposed to say things like “If you like it, subscribe!” and “Please leave us a review!” especially if you already know us and what we are cultivating and can give you. It helps us to get in front of new people and call in more and friends and to have our time-travel friendship happen across a giant, giant, giant web. So thanks for being here.
L: Tag us in your socials. After we just shit on the socials. Tag us in your socials.
E & L: We love you! Byeeeeeeeee.